King Edmund The Just
by Gone But Not Forgotten
Summary: Okay so this is a story about how the bratish pansy Edmund turned into the silent and grave King Edmund the Just. The title used to be BREAKING THE HABIT, but I've decided to turn this into a multi chapter fic. - GBNF
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**** So this is a fanfiction that was inspired by the Youtube video **_**Breaking the Habit: Edmund Pevensie**_** by **_**cudajesse. **_**Thanks a lot **_**cudajesse**_**! Please read and review!**

**Disclaimer:**** Narnia does not belong to me no matter how much I wish it did and I do not own "**_**Breaking the Habit"**_** by Linkin Park**

_I don't know what's worth fighting for, _

_Or why I have to scream, _

_I don't know why I instigate, _

_And say what I don't mean._

_I don't know how I got this way, _

_I know it's not alright, _

_So I'm breaking the habit,_

_I'm breaking the habit tonight._

_-"Breaking the Habit" by Linkin Park_

I stared out at the green trees in western Narnia from my bedroom window at Cair Paravel. Why had I been made King? Why would anyone make a traitor King? The last year was unforgivable. Peter, Susan, and Lucy should be furious with me for what I had done to them. I had ridiculed and nearly caused all our deaths. I didn't deserve the pitying glances they gave me when they thought I wasn't watching. I should have died in the Battle of Beruna.

"Edmund," Peter said knocking on the door.

"What, Peter?" I said rudely. I sighed and walked over to the door opening it slowly. "Sorry, old habit."

"It's alright." Peter said smiling. He sat down on my four poster bed.

"I wish you would all stop that." I replied starting to pace back and forth across the room.

"Stop what?"

"Stop saying that it's 'alright', because it will never be alright."

"Ed, it wasn't your fault."

"Yes it was. You didn't make me turn into a beastly little twit."

"Edmund, you aren't like that anymore. You changed."

"Pete, I'm a...a...a traitor and I always will be."

"Don't say that! You know it's not true!" Peter yelled his temper flaring.

"It is true, Pete! I'm a bloody traitor!" I yelled back.

"Ed, we've all forgiven you. You haven't forgiven yourself!" I glared at him as hard as I could. He glared right back. His hands were clenched into fists at his sides. It was taking all of his energy just to keep him from punching me in the face. How I wished he would just hit me.

"Peter, I nearly got all of us killed. I'm a traitor and liar." I said through barred teeth.

"Fine, if that's what you think." Peter said before storming out of the room. I slumped onto the floor realizing how far I had just back tracked. Why had I said those things? Of course they were true, but Peter hated it when I said stuff like that. The truth in Peter's words rung in my ears. _You haven't forgiven yourself._ It was so true yet so very wrong. No I hadn't forgiven myself, but I also had lost my trust in myself.

When you no longer can trust your own choice's you listen to your leader no matter how silly or stupid of a thing they make you do; you follow them with unwavering loyalty; you remain silent even when you know you should speak up because you lose the ability to trust yourself, because you don't know what's worth fighting for.

I stood up and ran to the door. Peter deserved an apology, no matter how true the things I said were. He was my king, my leader, and most of all my brother.

_I don't know what's worth fighting for _

_Or why I have to scream _

_But now I have some clarity_

_To show you what I mean  
_

_I don't know how I got this way_

_I'll never be alright _

_So I'm breaking the habit_

_I'm breaking the habit _

_I'm breaking the habit tonight_

_-"Breaking the Habit" by Linkin Park_

**Authors Note:**** So...thanks for reading. Please review this story. Good, bad, it doesn't matter I just want to know what you think. Thanks again! - GBNF**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN:**** Okay, chapter two.**

**Disclaimer:**** "**_**Hurt**_**" and "**_**Broken**_**" and Narnia are definately not mine.**

_Do you know what it feels like_

_To be broken and bruised, scared and confused?_

_- "Broken" by Scott Stapp_

I couldn't find Peter anywhere. I sat on my bed staring at the ceiling of my room. I could see Jadis' face each time I closed my eyes. Her taunting words still stung like the first time she had let them slither from her lips. Then there was the hand: _her_ hand. I hated that hand. I hated how it reached for me from the icy depths of the piece of my soul that Jadis had mangled. Nowhere had been as badly peirced as my self-assurance. I no longer trusted myself to make the decisions I would need to as a King of Narnia. I wasn't ready to be a King. I was just a child after all.

"Edmund," A golden voice said sadly.

"Aslan!" I smiled sitting up.

"Why do you doubt yourself?" Aslan questioned pacing across the room. "You have come so far and opened yourself to the warmth of your siblings love and trust, yet you refuse to forgive what has passed."

"It wouldn't be right to forgive myself." I sighed looking at my twisting hands. "There's so much I've done wrong and no justified action that I am due credit for. I know what happened at the Stone Table. I know what you did to redeem me. What you did to redeem a traitor."

"That was my decision." Aslan said smiling. "What's done is done. Do not linger on the past. Do not give thought to your regrets."

"They've cornered me, Aslan." I mumbled. "There is a place in my heart that still feels the frozen touch of Jadis. I'm plagued by nightmares and worries of how close I came to destroying what I care about most."

"Only you can heal those wounds." Aslan smiled. "You are King Edmund the Just because you have known regret and anguish. Everything you have told me has made me trust your ability to rule more and more. Do not live in the past."

I blinked and the golden glow of the Lion was gone. As I drifted to sleep I decided it was time to join my siblings as a ruler of Narnia.

_And you could have it all,_

_My empire of dirt,_

_I will let you down,_

_I will make you hurt._

_- "Hurt" by Johnny Cash_

**AN:**** So there's chapter 2. Please Review!**


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